Bea Arthur

What's WRONG? At CLUB DEAD, The bell tolls for Bea Arthur, ballsy actress, who brought to life two legendary television characters. She began as a torch singer, but her gravely voice and stocky build made audiences unreceptive to her love songs. Then someone told her she should try comedy.

Bea Arthur gave us two of televsion's most memorable characters, Maude Findlay of "Maude" and Dorothy Zbornak of "The Golden Girls."

She also was a Tony-winning stage actress, veteran of such legenday Broadway shows as "Fiddler on the Roof," and "Mame," as well as her own one-woman Broadway show. In her personal life, she was active with AIDS charities, and other social issues.

Most of America met her on "All In The Family" when the entire household took sick, and Edith's liberal cousin Maude came to look after the family. She was everything Edith was not: worldly, agressive, demonstrative, bossy, and most of all, opinionated. Maude could hold her own against Archie... for that alone she deserves a place in televsion lore.

When she was spun off into her own show, Archie and Edith retuned the favor by appearing in the "Maude" pilot episode, as guests at the upcoming wedding of Maude's daughter, Carol. I can't recall the name of the actress who played Carol in the pilot, because they recast Adrienne Barbeau in the role.

(Pardon me a moment... Adrienne Barbeau... inspiration for so many adolescent fantasies... okay, I can breathe again.)

Naturally, the show was a hit. Maude's catch phrase, "God'll get you for that!" was repeated from coast to coast, and even spwaned a hit country song for George Jones and Tammy Wynette.

Like "All In The Family," "Maude" was a groundbreaking show, tackling feminism, civil rights, divorce, racial predjudice, social inequality, alcohol/drug abuse, domestic violence, and reproductive rights. Among the television benchmarks was Maude's decision to terminate an unplanned pregnancy. This was 1972, before the Roe v. Wade decision, and CBS was roasted by more than a few organizations and viewers.

One of the writers of that episode was a woman named Susan Harris. Several years later, now a successful series creator, she cast Bea Arthur for a new show about four retirement-age ladies sharing a house as roomates. Critics and network execs balked.

"Who wants to see a bunch of old women sitting around kvetching?" they wondered. As it turns out, a lot of people did. "The Golden Girls" ran for years, and proclaimed that adventure and romance are not the excusive province of youth.



Bea Arthur's Dorothy was the glue that held the ensemble together. (Actors call it the "Kermit" role, refering to the Muppet who was the island of sanity in the midst of constant chaos.) Dorothy was calm, poised, and confident, providing the perfect counterpoint to childlike Rose, promiscious Blanche and rascally Sophia.

We all have our favorite lines; here's mine:

Dorothy (a substitute teacher) was examining the remarks written on the cast of one of her students who had broken a limb. Noticing a comment about her, Dorothy picked up a marker, saying "Let's just change this to 'Mrs. Zbornak eats shiitake mushrooms'"

I hope I don't appear rude to point out a couple of her duds.. as Lucy's pal in Lucille Ball's curious movie verson of "Mame," and the obnoxious innkeeper in "Amanda's-by-the-Sea," the awful American adaptation of "Fawlty Towers." But even in both of these fiascos, she stood out above the miserable crowd.

She recieved the respect and admiration of her audience, and her peers. After declining an earlier nomination, Bea Arthur was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame last December.

---

I have no idea about the off-screen relationship she had with Estelle Getty, who played her mother, Sophia, on "Golden Girls." But in that extended-TV world, I can see their characters this evening, catching up with each other while sharing coffee and cake around the kitchen table.

"It's good to see you, Pussycat. This place was just no damn fun without you."

"Ma, you can't swear here. This is Heaven."

"Oh please, Dorothy. Compared to Sicily, this is a walk in the park."

As Maude would say, "God'll get you for that."

Then again, screw her, she's dead. Let's go look for crocodiles.

StevenK